On Being Asian
The recent bus trip ’round sites of racial injustices in the Northwest have sparked some meditations on what it means to be asian in a broader “American” setting, all the more so in a town such as Bellingham, with a small minority population and a history of violent racism against hindus, chinese, and japanese. While I can talk about internment camps and the Chinese exclusion orders of years past I just want to meditate on what it means to be asian today:
- The “model minority” is a patronizing term. Model in who’s eyes? Who would’ve thought that even civil compliance and good behavior could be subtly infused with racialization? Rewards for good behavior is a patronizing form of control…
- The perception of being coy, or demure – this asian fetish thing. Sure our women are beautiful but can we just be ourselves w/o reverting to this perception?
- Be proud of your heritage damnit. It’s a double-sided coin. While we need to get out of the ghettoization of our ethnic communities to see a larger “America”, at the same time we can’t ever forget where we came from. Nor can we ever look down on our less-than-American ancestors.
- We will work for the man but never be the man. Glass-ceilings are tough things to break through and very subtle, systemic things…
- It’s an uphill battle, folks. Asians in society at times feel the need to lose our “asian-ness” in order to make it. It’s almost a reverse “white-fetish” where we hope we won’t get noticed for the fact that we are asian, but we can blend right into white society with perfect intonation, no accent, dressing the right way. This just makes me cry. My black brothers educated me on a term used in black circles: “The Bourgeoisie” – when a person of color completely assimilates into white society and never looks back. It’s a derogatory term for someone who refuses to identify with the color of their skin or their ethnic heritage. The bourgeoisie think they’re better than the rest of us.
I feel sad. Sad that making it in this world so often means losing a bit of myself. Sad that we are playing by another man’s rules that benefits his own. Sad that at the starting gate I am placed a few steps behind. I’m not asking for pity, because I will work my ass off to get to the same place as others. But I just want to tell my story, and that of countless others.
Wow you’re feelin’ it today. I’m with you. And might I add an addendum to the model minority issue. It is not only “model in who’s eyes”, but also model as compared to “you know who.” The not so subtle insinuation is, “they succeeded, why can’t you? which is only complicated by the fact that many Asian Americans buy into the exact same view of “you know who” and enjoy their status as honorary whites, because let’s face it, in the eyes of the man, you may not be white, but at least you’re not, “you know what.”
dang. I read you loud and clear my brother…
- and again, I have that sudden urge to cry.
Don’t sweat it; a good cry never hurts and sometimes heals. And you think Asian people look down on their ancestry? Black people and Africans… now that’s some *&%$ right there.