Un Kyu Choi Passes Away

Update: **************

I had a chance to visit the memorial at WWU for Un Kyu Choi. It was heartwrenching – and I never met the guy.

As we entered, mom, dad and his fiancee were on their knees in front of the portrait crying (translated) “where have you gone… you were not supposed to leave so early” – to that effect. Afterwards they had a brief family service which ended with the Lords’ Prayer in Korean; I joined in with them with what I can remember in my broken Korean.

The father was grateful to meet us, that strangers would attend his son’s memorial. Erin Johnson, a student at WWU was with me and hugged the fiancee, whom she had never met before. The father shared with me about his son. Apparently, Choi was a person to be in awe of (translated from Korean – “deh dahn han saram”) and this coming from his father; his father shared with me how he was a model student, excelling in school, at church he played (the piano, I believed) and was faithful and devoted, socially he was loved and an excellent friend. Everything about this kid was poised – poised to live, love, thrive, grow – and just before he jumped the ground was cut out below him. He had everything to offer to society, he would have made an excellent man, father, husband and from his father’s telling was already an excellent son. I’m convinced he would have contributed to society; here was a handsome young man who would have left his mark.

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Update: ************** (from Jonathan Lytle)

There’s a memorial set up in VU 714 (WWU) until 6pm today (1/11/08) and from 9-noon tomorrow (1/12/08). I went up there this morning and met Un Kyu’s father. He doesn’t speak English, so we couldn’t really talk, but we exchanged a few words and he saw me crying, so I think it was important. I ended up staying for about an hour to pray.

I just went back and dropped off some white potted flowers (a Korean tradition) and wrote a note with them from the CCF staff. If anyone would like to stop by, they have a little guestbook as well that you can sign with a note to the family and friends of Un Kyu. If you’re on campus today, feel free to stop by and sign it if you’d like.

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I got the news from Jonathan Lytle (a chaplain to international students @ WWU) that Un Kyu Choi passed away from serious head injuries yesterday. It breaks my heart.. many times over, as I hear how he just arrived to the States, how his parents came from Korea because their son was dying, how young (25) and primed he was for the world, how he was going to get married, but now leaves behind his fiancee, how he looks like so many guys I know, he could’ve even been my brother. Jonathan laments:

I’m sad to report that Un Kyu was taken off life support this morning and passed away. The director of the program came into class today and told the other students. He brought Un Kyu’s parents and fiancee with him. The whole exchange was in Korean, so I’m not quite sure what was going on, but the students seemed terribly shocked. I don’t think they realized the seriousness of his injuries. They weren’t given any homework for tonight.
I’ll be in their class tomorrow morning at 8:30, so you could pray for us still. I think they will probably still be a little bit shocked. Please pray for me too – I feel people’s pain pretty deeply I think…one of those difficult gifts from God…so I go in and out of feeling very shaken up and deeply sad, even though I never met him.

continue to pray for his family and friends. it broke my heart to watch his mother cry.

All I can say is… crap. This is sad. And it shouldn’t have happened. Some faculty at WWU have expressed if it is possible to start a memorial fund for Choi’s family. As a Korean-American living in Bellingham, I too wonder what can be done to help. I’m still shocked by the passing of another Korean-Am Bellingham resident recently, and while the passing of any human being hurts, this hits close because with the Korean-Am community it’s just a few, small degrees of separation. Should any opportunities arise to help the family, and to remember Choi – I hope to get involved.

On the flip side, there has been a lot of crying for blood from Ashley Wick. Of course my first knee-jerk reaction is one of hatred, revenge, disgust – because I am human. But as a Christian, the gospel calls us to rise above these things… and forgive… while not easy, understanding her story makes her less of a devil and more of a broken – even hurting – human being. A friend of Ashley comments:

This is truly heartbreaking and utterly senseless.

I know the young woman and her parents and my heart goes out to them too. They will suffer the loss of Un Kyu Choi everyday and Ashley will have to live with the guilt of her actions. This is not a case of bad parenting but instead a very sad story of a troubled young adult that committed a horrible crime.

Ashley suffered a severe head injury when she was in junior high and nearly died. She had a couple surgeries to relieve massive swelling and has never been quite right since. Her parents have taken her to multiple doctors and counselors trying to get her help. I would guess that is the reason for the perscription Xanax

I can’t imagine that she consumed all 18 pills in one day and survived. Perhaps she shared or sold the pills?

As much as I pray for the Choi family… Ashley… she is in my prayers… that the rest of her life will redeem the one she has taken. It was a thoughtless, blind, stupid moment – but don’t we all have those? Only Christ understood this so well in his words: “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” My heart breaks for Choi. But my heart breaks for Ashley too.